Subliminal Style
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Catching Rae

Why Over-Exposure is Counter-Productive

Once upon a time (I won't tell you how long ago!), I was walking the Santa Monica Promenade with a young male friend of mine. It was a Saturday night, so lots of guys and gals were obviously on their way to one kind of bar, club, or sweaty dance party or another. Tight dresses, short skirts, and unbuttoned shirts were the norm - as I'm sure they have been on Saturday nights for nigh on a hundred years.

Anyway, one particular girl appears in front of us, teetering toward her nighttime activities in sky-high spiked stilettos and a dress so short that a good third of her bedonka-donk was proudly on display for all the world (and several young children) to see.

Later that evening, my buddy leaned over to me and said, "Doesn't anybody love her?"


It took me a while to catch up to the fact that he was actually, genuinely, no-foolin' bothered by the woman with her booty hanging out. Weren't all men supposed to push for all women to dress like that at all times?

"What?" I said, a little startled that anybody would bat an eyelash in this day and age. "She probably just wants to get some action tonight." 

"Yeah," my friend said. "But do you really think that's all she wants ever? I don't care how long they stick around, she will always be a disembodied butt to anyone she sees today."

Out of the mouths of bros...

This isn't about my friend being a big ol' prude, nor is it about looking down on girls who are honestly looking for a roll in the hay and nothing more - this story is about the sheer impracticality of putting your chest, legs, or tush on a platter... and then expecting people to look you in the eye and take you seriously the next day.

It's about being honest about your own expectations and following through on them. You want respect? You've got to give it - to yourself and to others. 

Over-exposing yourself to the world at large is disrespectful to your fabulous inner beauty, because it completely distracts people (male and female!) from your words and actions.

Over-exposing yourself amongst your peers is disrespectful to your circle, because it also distracts everyone from their words and actions. 

Over-exposing yourself to people you'd actually like to date is totally disrespectful to your prospects, because it implies they are just dumb animals who can can be lured in with the pretense of sex and somehow tricked into a serious relationship.

It's not about morality - it's about practicality. When your image presents an accurate and honest account of how you want to be treated, you're more likely to be treated the way you want. 

So this summer, even when it's hot as hell, take a minute to think about your goals for interactions before you strip down and let it all hang out. Envision the types of interactions you want, and let the scenes play out in your mind over the course of an entire evening, week, and year. Cast yourself in the scene of your ideal life - and then dress the part!

And if, in the end, you truly do want your booty to show out the bottom of your skirt/shorts/swimsuit - then at least you are making a conscious and informed decision.